Is 'yes' really just stress in disguise? It depends on how you prioritize it.
Updated: Feb 9, 2022
When we chronically say 'yes' to others, we are sabotaging our own needs. They go on the backburner, igniting feelings of resentment, often overwhelm, and ultimately, saying 'no' to our own needs.
Over committing yourself creates anxiety which in turn taxes your adrenals, affects gut health and can lead to a lot being
deemed second place such as eating properly, ensuring quality sleep, and ditching your exercise plan. This is stress!
I am 38 years old and just learned how to set boundaries. I had to be taught how to do it! The first several times I stated my boundaries was hard. I felt like I was doing something wrong but now I do it with ease and have my own needs met more than I ever have! I know a woman twice my age who is starting to learn to put herself first, honor her needs but still make time for the things important to her. It's never too late.
Ignoring boundaries can look like saying 'yes' to avoid feelings of guilt but it can also look like pushing yourself at the gym, staying up late to watch one more episode of desperate housewives and being exhausted the next day, or overspending. All relate back to the inability to say no. To others and to yourself. Always set boundaries around your own needs and how much you push yourself.
Prioritizing your own needs is vital for overall health. When you take care of yourself, you are better able to help others. If you're faced with a decision and you just can't say no, take a moment to think about how this may set you back and how you can work around it. Sometimes saying 'yes' works! But only if you have sifted through the possible outcomes and know that resentment won't creep in, you've taken care of your needs first and this new task won't leave you feeling drained and stressed out.
Do you know why you have a hard time saying no? Do you feel guilty turning down a friend or fear you won't be needed anymore if you refuse? Let's find out where this stems from, understand it, reframe your engrained beliefs and learn how to lay down boundaries.